Topic: Round 1: The People that Melt in the Rain

Another day, another project posting! I'm feeling a bit better today, so I've got a lot of catch up work to do, and a couple new books in for printing...so it'll be a busy day today. Hey, before I forget again, if you haven't already done so, check out our magazine, Nexus, it's a great read, and a free download, so...click the image here:


OK then, let's dig in...

The People that Melt in the Rain
Project of: Mike Dubisch - Carolyn Watson-Dubisch

I'm afraid of the rain.

Everything from a light drizzle to a thunderstorm fills me with dread.

But it's not just me. It's the same for everyone in the town of Deluge.

A summer storm holds us as prisoners in our homes.

Here in Deluge, it's not just the wicked witch of the west that fears melting into a puddle of ooze. Everyone here melts in the rain.

This curse upon this town has become my mission in life. I can make our town safer. I can change the rain.

I have taken it upon myself to save us, the people that melt in the rain.

---

And now, judges that melt melt in your hands...wait, not in your hands, uh...

anyway...

The Pitch ~ Short. Good. Like.

How's that for sparse? The whole thing reads like a free-form poem. Only recommendation would be to maybe combine a few of those sentences into a paragraph or two (leave the short single sentence at the top, which is fine) and flush in a couple of details.

Just taking a quick pass over it for some thoughts... see if you can build from this.

I'm afraid of the rain.

Everything from a light drizzle to a thunderstorm fills me with dread. It's not just me, though; it's the same for everyone in the town of Deluge. A summer storm holds us prisoner in our homes. [Insert another sentence here with another descriptive of their situation.]

Here in Deluge, it's not just the Wicked Witch of the West who fears melting into a puddle of ooze - Everyone here melts in the rain.

This curse upon the town has become my mission in life. I have taken it upon myself to change the rain and save us all... before it kills us all.

The Rough Cover ~ Well, this one is just plain interesting... A lot going on without telling me a whole lot. Good in this case. Art is very clean, great lines, subtle shading, excellent details, etc... I can already see in my head what the finished inks will look like and probably even the colors. Has a Steam Punk vibe to it (either that or it takes place in a rural French town [Deluge] and sounds like it will work well with the premise.

Complaints? None I can think of, actually!

Overall, I think this one sounds very different and VERY cool.... I'd read it based on the two elements I've seen so far, so kudos for that!

EASY YES

Is this another Husband/Wife comic duo we see? Huzzah! Don't stop a-rockin'

THE ART:

Pro: We like this style a lot, but even setting our bias aside anybody can see that it's done really well. We like the retro-tech, we like the face and expression, we like the fishes and donuts and crazy miscellany on the monitors… it all points to a very surreal and very odd science-fantasy setting that we look forward to seeing more of. Great linework, nice and clean; it's slick and smooth and looks really beautiful.

Con: None, really. To pick one nit, though, it seems that the eye in the magnifying glass/lens ought to be on more of a 3/4 angle to match the angle of the face. The lens is making the eye appear larger - it isn't changing the angle of the head.

Last Word: Great cover with a nice, tight style and interesting technological teases of the new world inside.

THE PITCH:

Pro: Very storybook like. We're thinking this is a fable/fairy tale in the tradition of Gaiman and Willingham, and that gets us excited. There's a surprisingly robust market for comic fables right now, growing by the month. You picked a good time to try running with a story like this. Light and airy, even the structure of the pitch gives us a sense of the kind of whimsy we can expect inside.

Con: It runs the risk of being a little too light and airy, thus not giving us enough information to know what we're looking at. At first blush, the idea of a town of people that melt in the rain is not in itself an interesting enough premise to get us excited. When it eventually gets to the quest of the one man trying to find the answer to their problem then it starts revealing its promise, but at around the half-way point we were feeling a little unsure if we cared about the story or not.

Last Word: Could be a very fun little fairy tale, but the pitch needs to open stronger and get us hooked a little faster to make sure we care enough to get invested in the premise.

FINAL VERDICT: This is an easy Yes. It looks great and we want to know more about your world and your story.

Ian. Jokes. Bad.

Alright...melting rain people?

Premise: Nice. I think you took a chance with the way you wrote this, but your execution made the difference. The next to the last sentence is weak and cumbersome. Instead of saying "This curse" use "The curse" and it reads a lot smoother. What I like the most about this pitch is, it's telling me just what I need to know, that the people here fear the rain because it melts them. I don't need to know why, nor the grim details, just that it does. You save the why and wherefore till you get me into the comic, which is what you're SUPPOSED to do. So well done with that. I also like the aspect of a slightly quirky driven science geek who works to save the city. Nice touch and you've already invested me in your character at this very early point, which is no small thing. If I had one knock on the whole thing, it would be the title. It seems kinda long and cumbersome, and just imagining what the logo will look like makes my head hurt.

Cover: When I saw this cover I immediately thought Tony Harris, who draws Ex Machina. Your work has the same very detailed and organic feel to it. So much so that I could easily see this as a cover to Ex Machina and it wouldn't surprise me a bit. None of that is meant to be anything more than complimentary by the way, Tony's a great artist and obviously so are you. I don't think for a second this is aping his style, you've just got a lot of the same elements about your work and it's equally as strong in my opinion. I like the quirky mechanical stuff you've got all over the place in this cover. It just keeps moving the eye around as you look at it. Excellent cover that I'm really excited about seeing finished!

Conclusion: Projects like this make easy YES votes. If I were already working on round 2 materials, I'd be worried about this book enough to kick it into overdrive, because this one has legs to run.

Cary: Only jokes here are in the mirror!

I completely forgot to add the image i was talking about above too. No kidding!

this one:


And so goes my weary swiss cheese brain.

Perhaps IT melted in the rain.

OH!!! and 3 Yes sends this off to Round 2 and more comments to follow!

I am loving this.

It s like Jules Verne versus Beckett! I love it!

Nicely drawn, intriguing cover (is he trying to turn rain into donuts and fish and screws?), and the concept is interesting. The pitch is clear and short, too, which is always a plus. I wish there was more about the protagonist, though. Whether the pitch added a line like "My name is Henry Fizzlewater and I'm the last in a long line of scientists…" or something, or changed to a 3rd person perspective ("In the town of Deluge, only Brantworth Drizzle can bring an end to a city-wide curse"). I just feel like we're not getting enough character focus, which makes me drift off slightly (not fall asleep, but just space out…).

Also, yes, the cover looks good, but there's something weird going on with Bentley Rainslicker's clothing that looks poorly drawn, but hidden behind the stuff that is drawn well. Also, he's wearing Deadpool's belt buckle…

Always a fan of steampunk concepts. Congrats on moving on to Round Two!

Thanks, Judges, for passing us to round 2!

Thanks FC for the tip about the belt!

Beautiful cover, congrats on making it through!

Ah a unique concept with a steampunk vibe, I'm digging it. Congrats on round two

Very clean art.  Looking forward to seeing the rest of it in Round 2.

Cancillion

This makes me think of Hayao Miyazaki, Howls Moving Castle. Which was way different then anything of its time. I like it, looking forward to seeing some action shots.

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Very interesting concept! I'm excited to see this one continue on. One of my favorites this year.

Thank you MtheM!

We've hung onto a place in the top three for nearly the duration of the second round-  this voting extension will give some other projects the time they need to displace us-  we need more votes to hang on, so get on over to our round 2 thread and VOTE please!  Thanks!!!